RSD Luke fro Real Social Dynamics, talking with Maze about a very important topic.
How to connect with people?
Video: How to Connect with Anyone Anywhere (Without Working Hard)
Some of the best connections with people, the biggest influences that you have seen in your life they didn’t start by being cool.
If you are in a business setting, mirroring just helps you build a base level of comfortable. In terms of mirroring, that’s what it’s for, you have to understand.
When you mirror somebody physically, it doesn’t really sink in at the front of their mind, it sinks in in their subconscious. But when you actually have the same lexicon, the same verbiage. When you have the same speech, speaking patterns and when you say the same slang as anybody else, tat comes in and sinks in hard.
One of the most advanced ways to connect with anybody is to build a world around them. The more you can build a world between you and the other person.
Give each other nicknames
It starts with anything form nicknames. Whether it is male-make, female-female, male-female, Whatever nicknames you have for each other, that starts this world. Build-a-Bear for example, it’s a great experience to share with somebody.
Sharing a dog
You get a dog with somebody. It i snot the dog, it’s the world around that dog. That’s what it’¡s interesting.
You share memes with each other. It’s not the meme that’s that powerful, it’s the culture behind the meme. I’ve reignited with long-lost friends just purely because of memes. Meme-bond is a world that we are building between each other. The serendipity thing.
My method #2 of creating an instant connection with anybody is that:
I already know going into it that I’m going to have a connection with anybody. There is nobody I talk to that isn’t going to leave a conversation with me not thinking that we have a connection. I’m, going to pump their state of mind, I’m going to pump their energy. I’m not going to bring my negativity into the interaction with anybody else.
I’m not going to walk into the Uber and then vent all the negative things about my day with him.
Every interaction I¡m in I’m going to build those commonalities and i’m going to trade that mini–burst of serendipity so they feel that that interaction for as short or as long as it is, was meant to happen. It’s up to you if there is an instant connection.
Do not rely on the other person to get a connection with YOU. It’s your responsibility. When you take ownership and you realize that is up to YOU for them to feel a connection.
When you realize it’s up to YOU if they are going to feel attraction, curiosity, interest. If they want to buy something from you, if they want to engage with you, if they want to invite you to an event, if they want to attend your event.
Real socialites know
The real socialites of the world, they go through life knowing that every person they interact with is going to feel an instant connection.
You don’t have to feel the instant connection. Once you let go of the fact that you don’t have to feel that connection it’s about instilling and pumping that connection. Pumping that connection deep into every person you interact with, then thats’ how you are going to create this serendipity interactions.
When someone thinks they have a good conversation with you, it doesn’t mean you are a good conversationalist, it means that you allow them to be.
For example, if you have a conversation with somebody and you pride yourself on the way that you talk.. you speak well, you are charismatic, you have a good vocabulary.. etc etc that doesn’t mean you are a great conversationalist. It means you are giving a platform, you are giving a safe space for someone else to feel like they were able to speak well, when you reward the things that they say.
That’s what ‘s going to make you seem like a good conversationalist, that’s what’s going to instill that instant connection feeling in them.